Credit Consolidation Craze

Credit Is What We Have Got Up In This Piece, Baby!

Street credit = good credit

Or so we've heard. Truth be told, our credit counseling staff has little to know street credit, unless you count the mean streets that lead to the office park or the new Rosewood Estates subdivision where many of us live. We are suburban dwellers in every sense of the word. Overweight slobs who drive to the mailbox at the end of the street. Upper middle-class cubicle slaves who shop at Wal-Mart even though we could afford an extra 56 cents that the local grocer charges for paper towels. Nope, no street credit here. But professional credit consolidation advice and resources? Hello! We've got that!

Imagine the ease of one monthly payment per month. Yes, we are aware of that sentence's redundancy. We felt it was a great way to drive home a key point. Persuasive writing is not one of our strong suits.
Discover the magic of saving 33 percent or more of your existing debt each month. That's what you have to look forward to when our team of obnoxious but highly experienced jerks comes to your aid.
Restore your credit rating in less than 12 months. That's right. We will condescendingly show you the ropes, and teach you how to apply for reinstatement of closed lines of credit, as well as new ones from your creditors.

Hey, you have to give us credit where credit is due!

And that's just the beginning. We'll have you saving thousands of dollars a year, conserving time and energy better spent dealing with other matters, and basking in the glory of a debt free future just around the corner. You'll have perfect credit within three years - that is a guarantee of our service. If you can handle the pot-shots, snide remarks, and lack of hygiene that are customary among our staff, fantastic savings are there to be had.

Mull it over. Give it some thought. Then come to the only logical conclusion and run for your life... straight to our credit repair headquarters! Fooled you there, eh? Just give us a little advance notice. A quick call should be fine - the phone usually wakes up Larry and Phil.